Some Ways To Help Relieve Stress After Admission
- Encourage their friends to visit and reassure them they will continue visiting.
- Visit as often as you can, even though it might be discouraging at first.
- Take in small gifts, eg a tablet of their favourite soap.
- Encourage them to make friends with other residents.
- If possible take them out for an hour or two, perhaps in a wheelchair.
- Tell them how much better they look.
- Take them some flowers.
- Spend time chatting to them over a cup of tea.
Changing Routines
Your relative may be or have been married, widowed or they may have chosen to remain single. They will most likely have been living in their own home either with their partner or by themselves for a long time. Over the years they will have developed their own pattern of living, for instance they may have been getting up at 6 every
morning and going to bed at 9 each night. Meals would have been be prepared and eaten at a time which fitted into their lifestyle.
Although all care homes have their own routine they are not inflexible. Generally speaking, residents can have an early morning cup of tea, rise at the time they prefer and go to bed when they choose.
Meal times are usually at set times but do not often cause a problem. If the evening meal clashes with their favourite television programme ask the staff if it can be served in their room.
The Luxury Of A Bath
Active and able people have a bath or shower whenever it suits them, sometimes two or even three times a day. They take a bath without any further thought.
Elderly and disabled people are not as able to have a bath or shower as often as they used to due to difficulties caused by their disabilities. Some seldom get into the bath but content themselves with a good wash when they need one.
In a care home a bath can become a luxury. Some homes endeavour to give every resident a bath or shower every day if it is appropriate for them. However, this is not always possible and residents are allocated bath days. This allows the resident to have more time for their bath and feel relaxed rather than rushed. If the allocated days are not suitable for your relative, ask if they can be changed to a more preferable day or time.
Specialist baths are fitted in most homes. Some of them look different to what your relative will have been used to and they may even be nervous of using them.
They have no need to be afraid, there will always be a nurse with them to help them get in and out of the bath, to wash, dry and dress themselves.
Needing Spiritual Fellowship
If your relative is a practising member of a church they will miss the fellowship and friendship of other church members. Contact their vicar, pastor or church leader. They may be able to arrange regular visits from the church pastoral team. They may also be able to arrange occasional church meetings within the home subject to the matron’s agreement.
Many church leaders already conduct meetings in homes for the elderly. The date and time of such services are usually pinned to the notice board. If you can’t find the information you need, the matron will be able to give you the date of the next meeting, if one has already been arranged.
Making Complaints
Occasionally your relative has something they cannot cope with any longer. For instance, it may be loud music from somebody’s television. Ask one of the nurses if they could persuade the resident to turn down the volume to a more acceptable level. If there is no change you or your relative might like to make an official complaint. Start by speaking to the nurse in charge or the matron. If nothing
is done speak to your relative’s care manager if they have one, or to the manager or proprietor.
If nothing is done about the complaint write a letter to the manager or proprietor telling them no action has been taken. Suggest that they might like to visit the room and hear the noise for themselves.
Should your letter be ignored send a reminder. If you do not get a satisfactory solution to the problem write to the inspector of the home who will investigate the problem (see
Figure 16).
Fig. 16.
Making a complaint.