StressExperts tell us that moving house is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. Unfortunately, moving a relative from their home into a care home on a permanent basis is not only very stressful for them but it also affects you and the rest of the close family.
Grieving
Your relative is probably grieving. It’s hard for an elderly person to give up their home and most or all of their possessions, go into a strange place and live a totally different life style.
It comes as a shock to elderly people to find they need help with personal and intimate care, they find it very embarrassing to have to rely on young nurses to take them to the toilet or help them sit on a commode,
especially if they are of the opposite sex, and they grieve for what they have lost.
Grieving can make them:
- Frustrated because nobody believes they could still care for themselves in their own home.
- Sad and weepy.
- Feel worthless and isolated.
- Depressed.
- Fear the loss of freedom and independence.
- Suicidal.
Grieving can lead to:
- discontentment
- loss of interest
- loss of appetite
- weight loss
- tearfulness
- sickness
- aggression
- depression.
Wanting To Go Home
Anxiety and stress can start before your relative is ever admitted to a care home. If they have been ill and have been treated in hospital they will be longing to go home. Then they are told they are going to be transferred into
a nursing home. They have received a shock. They want to go home and can’t understand why other people think they need to be looked after. They don’t realise they are weaker now and can’t do the things they were once capable of.
Recuperating in a nursing home may show them they need more help now they are older or since they have been ill or because of their frailty – which they hadn’t noticed before.
They may begin to wonder how they could manage to cope without being able to call somebody to help them get to the bathroom, dress and to get their meals. Recognising their current needs and lack of ability may well be another reason for them to grieve for the health and strength they once had.
If they can be persuaded to adopt a more positive attitude they will become more contented, helpful and co-operative. Changing a person’s attitude will take time and can be wearing on their visitors but when they have settled and you see a smile on their face again, you will realise it has all been worth while. Their outlook on life and health will improve and they will become more contented and possibly will want to join in some of the organised activities. They will have hope and begin to enjoy life in their new home.
Moving In – The First Few Hours
If you cannot take your relative to the home where they are being admitted, it would help them if you could be there when they arrive.
On arrival your relative will be greeted and made welcome. The nurse will probably offer them and their relative refreshments. They will be shown to their room and made comfortable.
Soon afterwards a nurse will introduce themselves and chat whilst filling in an admission sheet. This is a good time to ask any questions and the nurse will take your relative to the toilet if necessary.
Later, your relative’s temperature, pulse, respiration and blood pressure might be taken. The nurse may ask for a urine sample for testing. When they are getting ready for bed the nurse will note if they have any skin damage such as:
- redness of the skin
- bed sores
- bruising from falling
- cuts and abrasions.
They will be weighed soon after admission.
These simple tests and observations are carried out to ensure whether or not new residents are suffering from any obvious condition which needs treatment. The results occasionally lead the nurse to suspect there could be a problem. This would be monitored and reported to the doctor. However, most findings are normal and are used as a base line.
New residents will, at some point, have their photo taken for identification purposes. This is particularly helpful for
new staff. The chef, if available, may come and discuss the menu with them. Staff will come as soon as possible to unpack their belongings and put them away. Afterwards, depending on the time, they may be taken into the lounge or dining room and introduced to other residents. Bedtime is variable depending on each resident’s preference.