Dealing With Emotions
New Experiences
Discuss the future with your loved one and try to discuss the clothing and other items they want to take with them including a couple of favourite pictures or photographs.
If possible take most of their luggage in beforehand so that they feel more at home when they see some of their belongings decorating their new room.
The first few times you visit them they will probably tell you of all the things that have happened to them. You will also be able to tell them what you have been doing.
It will seem strange for both of you at first. Time will go much slower than usual until you both get used to it.
Your relative will have to get used to new routines, meals at different times and eaten in a different dining area with several other people rather than somebody they love and know. Bath times will be different too.
Helping To Ease The Transition
When your relative’s old friends fail to visit they will feel upset and neglected. Try to prevent this by:
- Explaining the situation to their family members, friends, fellow members of the church or clubs they attend.
- Giving would-be visitors their new address and phone number if they have their own telephone.
- Giving them the dates when they are likely to be out perhaps for a hospital appointment.
- Making out a visiting rota if possible.
- Asking the staff to encourage them to make new friends with other residents.
Coping With New Routines
New places, new circumstances and new routines affect everybody differently. For some it will be getting up and bed time that will affect them most, for others it will be meals and meal times (see
Chapter 9).
It will take time for your relative to get used to the people, the home, staff and everything else which is new to them. After a few days they will know some of the staff and other residents. Gradually they will begin to feel at home. Some new residents, however, take longer than others to settle in and become a valuable part of the home’s community.
Dignity, Privacy And Independence
Loss of dignity, privacy and independence are three things which can cause fear for prospective or new residents.
Dignity (the state of being worthy of respect) is very easily destroyed but all care staff are trained to preserve the dignity and the privacy of their residents.
Independence is a little different. Most people like to do everything for themselves but sometimes what they want to do is dangerous, such as frail hands endeavouring to make a pot of tea with a heavy kettle full of boiling water.
Care staff are trained to try to eliminate dangerous ploys and to protect the residents from hurting themselves or other people. Elderly people cannot always see that something they have done all their lives has suddenly become dangerous. They feel a loss of their independence if they have to be assisted to do something they consider to be a simple job.
Visiting Times
Nowadays most homes allow open visiting. That means family and friends can visit their relative at any time during the day. However, some matrons prefer visitors to visit in the afternoons and evenings so that bathing and other personal procedures can be carried out in the morning without rushing residents.
Be sure to ascertain visiting hours before you visit your relative.
Visitors
The number of visitors is not usually restricted but if the staff feel a resident is exhausted they will ask for visitors to leave in order that the resident can rest awhile.
There is one time when all visitors except for the next of kin are not allowed. This happens when the resident is
seriously ill and is too sick to cope with any visitors except their nearest and dearest.
In most care homes visitors are requested to sign their name, jot down who they are visiting, the date, time of arrival and departure. This is part of the fire regulations and tells staff and fire officers who is in the building should there be a need to evacuate residents, visitors and staff for any reason.