Likes And Dislikes
Everybody has likes and dislikes and your relative is no exception. If you know of anything they dislike tell the
staff at their new residence. It would help to avoid any upsets.
Spiritual Needs
Many people attend a place of worship and take Communion on a regular basis. It is a part of their life.
The matron may have arranged for interdenominational church services conducted by a local vicar or pastor in one of the communal rooms on a regular basis, perhaps once a month. Some homes have services for other faiths, if required, conducted by the appropriate spiritual leader, eg priest, rabbi, etc.
If your relative is well enough and makes their desires known, they will, if possible, be taken into the service. They can request a visit from their own spiritual leader who may be able to arrange for them to be taken to their normal place of worship by the members, providing:
- your relative is well enough;
- their doctor and person in charge at the time agree;
- arrangements are made beforehand.
Hobbies And Activities
Some elderly people still have hobbies. Some like craft work, others might like gardening, reading, philately, music, etc.
Homes which cater for elderly residents usually have a programme of activities including supervised gentle
exercise to help maintain mobility. Check with your relative’s doctor whether it is advisable for them to participate in this activity, particularly if they have had a pacemaker fitted. If your relative has a hobby or a favourite occupation make a note of it.
One lady chose to live in a residential home for the elderly, and liked to play Scrabble. There was none available in the home at the time but the manager bought one for her use.
However, not all managers have the authority to go and buy things like Scrabble so the onus is often laid on the next of kin to provide board games or craft materials for the resident.
From Home To Home!
While your relative lives in their own home, they have their own routine. This will obviously change when they are admitted to a residential care or nursing home.
- They will not have to do any housework, laundry or cooking.
- They will have help with bathing, washing and dressing if required.
They may find time passes slowly until they get used to the new routine.
Try to get them interested in the programme of activities provided in their new home. It will help to pass the time
and they will make new friends. They will learn new hobbies and settle down more quickly.
Leaving Their Spouse
Not all elderly people are single or widowed, many are still living in a happy and loving relationship with the person they married when they were younger. It is very hard for both parties to be separated after years of being together. The wife may feel guilty she has ‘left’ her husband even though it’s not her fault. The husband may not even know how to boil an egg or do the shopping because his wife has always cooked and shopped for both of them. It is especially hard if there are no children or other relatives to help out. Whether it is the husband or wife that is admitted to a home they will need a lot of reassurance and tender loving care.
Leaving A Partner
For those who have lived together with a friend for companionship or in a homosexual relationship separation is equally as traumatic. They may have lived together for many years and have become a partner to each other.
If one is admitted to a care home for life both of the friends will grieve. Both will need help and understanding and possibly counselling.